Cancer Disease, a Diagnosis to Horrify any Human Being! (My Wife Fought Stage 4 Brain Cancer Till Her Last Breath!)

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Cancer Disease, a Diagnosis to Horrify any Human Being! (My Wife Fought Stage 4 Brain Cancer Till Her Last Breath!)

Hope for cancer

Cancer Disease…The Most Terrible Disease on the Planet…

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Cancer Disease

The Cancer Disease Can be Beaten? For Some, But For How Long?

When anyone is diagnosed with cancer it immediately makes them feel like they have been given a death sentence.

Shock, horror, fear, dread, tears, denial, and feelings of loss wash over you, while with all that comes the questioning why, why, why…?

There are many other terrible illnesses out there, but cancer is evil devouring you from within, and with 100’s of types of cancer diseases it seems to be a losing battle for science and medicine to stop this increasing scourge that millions of people are suffering from and dying from all over the world…

Cancer doesn’t care how young or old you are, what race you are, how rich or poor you are, nor how healthy you have lived your life…In the past weeks, I have read hundreds of sad stories about how this disease has claimed lives… Now I am living in my own horror story!

I would describe that cancer disease is an evil monster that will start attacking your body, sometimes silently and without pain, until it has become a force that your body cannot cope with, while cancer gleefully starts eating away at your organs, rapidly destroying you, with no other mission but to kill you!

Cancer Cells

My dear wife has struggled with cancer 3 times now,  and now for the third time was just recently diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer. ( Read About)

1st Was a mastectomy after which they claimed she was completely cleared of cancer because they had removed it all.

2nd time it came back and they sent her for a serious of treatments as shown below… (I Posted this on FB) Look what she endured with a fighting spirit!

My Wifes cancer treatments...

…and NOW Imagine the shock and horror experienced by all of us in the family, (never mind what was going through my wife’s mind when she was given this diagnosis) of Brain cancer!!

So many questions went through everyone’s mind in the family:

  • Why her, she is such a kind woman, mother, grandmother, and wife?
  • What is Gods plan in all this?
  • How Long has she got left to live?
  • How will we cope?

When a family member or someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer, it is a huge shock and life as you know it will change completely.

During this time while your loved one is suffering from cancer it can be emotional, spiritually, and even physically draining for everyone, but there is a bright side if the person beats this dreadful disease, and yes cancer can be cured!

The few people lucky enough to be cured are ever counselled on how to live their lives afterwards because life DOES change after cancer whatever happens!

Support your cancer survivor friends, family members or colleagues throughout their lives afterwards. They need you…

Cancer Care Gifts

For wives, husbands and children that are old enough to help, a lot of responsibilities must be shouldered to care for their loved one while battling cancer and some tasks you need to cope with are less than pleasant, while others on an emotional level are very demanding when you take on this supportive role.

Almost one in eight women is diagnosed with breast cancer worldwide, and even with such wide media coverage about cancer, and ongoing warnings to women to have themselves tested, and checked, these warnings are largely ignored.

Perhaps this is because people are fearful or finding out this dreaded disease is growing in their breasts or body. men are no different when it comes to the fear that they will hear that dreaded cancer has appeared in their body!

For women, losing a breast or even both through a double mastectomy is a deeply traumatic experience making them feel they have lost their femininity, attractiveness, a loss of confidence and self-esteem. Then there is the fear of what does the future hold because there is little information on coping AFTER cancer…

For husbands, partners or family members of someone with cancer, they are thrust into a role of caregiver, counsellor, and a very pillar of strength to provide the necessary support for your partner or loved one. Be there for them!

Family support

Without this love, support and care the circumstances and recovery from cancer can be longer, deeply traumatic, and in some cases cause the patient to resign to not recovering at all.

The stress from doubts and fears will hinder the healing of any disease, and positive thinking must be drummed into the patient because the mind is a very powerful thing!

When wives and mothers are found to have breast cancer with no option but to remove breast/s many men react differently, and unfortunately some badly.

Some men will cope and care for their wives unfailingly, while others will even run away leaving their wives alone.

When this happens for the wife it is devastating because a lifelong companion has fled leaving her feeling abandoned, rejected, deeply unhappy and depressed all negative thoughts which will interfere in the process of healing.

Physical and mental adjustment during healing is accelerated if there are large doses of love, understanding, and empathy provided by husbands and loved ones. For women is difficult to adjust to the changes in her body after a mastectomy, especially with feelings that her femininity has been compromised.

The advice I can give men is to accept her that she is the same person she was before discovering she had breast cancer, love her support her.

If you have children and family garner their support and understanding by explaining to them that Mum is still mum.

(I wrote a book I published on Kindle about my wife’s journey through Breast cancer as a husband… that you can find here: Cancer to Mastectomy

... And the Follow on Breast Cancer to Brain Cancer

The experience of serious illness like cancer can bring the family closer together….or end up tearing it apart. Being open and candid and discussing issues with the whole family is paramount to the healing process!

This is my journey and experience through a mastectomy my wife suffered through, and the difficult time I had when cancer struck a second time,  and then yet a third… a horrendous stage 4 brain cancer which is the most horrific time of my life.

Rita’s Stage 4 Brain Cancer Diagnosis.

Recently we took a trip to the UK to visit our sons and grandchildren living there and it was a happy time together though shortlived…

Early August my wife began complaining of pain in her left ear and that of being a little dizzy so off we went to the doctor to see what the matter was.

The doctor diagnosed her having an ear virus which was causing ‘Labyrinthitis’ and prescribed her with pills to help the dizziness which he claimed would clear up within 2 weeks.

The dizziness started progressively getting worse so once again we visited the doctor who once again claimed it to be Labyrinthitis which would go away on its own.

Naturally, we trusted this diagnosis and tried alleviating the dizziness with some natural remedies and exercises we discovered online all in vain.

Early September my wife began feeling rather poorly with the dizziness now becoming extreme and alarming… so again I attempted making a new appointment with the doctor.

We started believing that it could be the different environment in the UK affecting her so I changed the plane tickets to fly home earlier.

Initially, we were to leave early December when our visa expired, but I now managed to get flights booked late October.

Brain Cancer

The Sunday precisely a week before we were to fly home disaster struck, and my wife became extremely ill and weak, even unable to stand with her sight being blurred and the dizziness extreme. her sight was deteriorating rapidly and her hearing in the one ear.

That evening we rushed her to emergency and after an extensive wait, she was able to see a doctor that claimed she needed a CAT scan to investigate what the problem was.

My sons and I were anxious when they told us they needed to see us all together as a family to let us know the results.

We were horrified to be told that my wife had a number of brain lesions and dark spots all around her brain with the prominent ones on her frontal lobe..which they believed could be causing the dizziness and symptoms of sight deterioration and hearing loss.

They needed to admit her into the hospital for more tests and after contacting our oncologist in South Africa, and evaluating her past history of cancer disease we were told that it was stage 4 brain cancer which could start causing seizures, complete blindness and all manner of other terrible side effects.

Flying Home


With our flight being that weekend I was anxious to find out whether she could fly home and was told further tests would need to be done as the brain swelling while flying at such high pressure could cause an embolism and even death.

After a panel of oncologists completed the evaluation we were told she could fly home, but it would be at a high risk.

At this stage, my wife could no longer walk, was extremely dizzy, suffered from some hearing loss, and was blind in the one eye and half blind in the other eye.

My sons were terribly shocked at everything happening to their mum and helped arrange wheelchair disabled assistance from the airline and we all prayed that she would get back safely. 

Fortunately, by the grace of God and prayers, we arrived back without incident though my wife was feeling now very ill and weak after such a long flight.

Taking care of my wife during this terrible time was stressful, and difficult and without family support would have been impossible.

Often she would lapse into bouts of depression with her asking me whether God was punishing, her so I had to also act as counsellor and therapist.

Cancer Disease

Just Like Anyone learning about a cancer Diagnosis…

Hours and hours were spent by me feverishly searching information about cancer diseases looking for a glimmer of hope or a miracle, reading questions on why God allows this horrific disease to be unleashed on the world, and why he heals some and not others…

For the last weeks of her life bathing her, dressing her, giving medications, helping her move, and applying creams were the order of the day while watching how this terrible evil disease destroyed her day by day. This was devastating to me, heartbreaking and shocking to me.. making me feel helpless, sad, angry and scared!

Our family was equally shocked watching how cancer ate away at the woman we all loved little by little…

Fear of Cancer

Instead of hearing about others suffering from cancer, it had now become my own reality as I watched how this horrible disease slowly devoured her, changed her personality, made what once was a strong independent woman become a shell of her former self.

She was treated with  3 weeks of radiation and high doses of steroids for the brain swelling and later the oncologist wanted to attempt chemotherapy, all as palliative care but claimed she was too week to survive this.

by the end of Week 6 with brain cancer, she was now a shadow of herself, already almost completely blind, 90% paralysed, and after suffering a stroke to add to the horror, she was admitted to hospital under special care. The suffered from sepsis while in the hospital and spent three weeks thereafter which we were told there was nothing further that could be done for her…

Many believe it is best to put someone into a hospice, but no matter how hard it will be caring for her, my son and I refused to do so, and once she came home we continued to  care for her and help her fight this every step of the way with family and people that loved her always around her.

She fought for her life and our family and friends were absolute pillars of support, as were the prayers from many others which we are all thankful for…

Will a miracle happen we kept asking ourselves?

Update:

After caring for my wife for the last 5 weeks at home, she peacefully passed away with her family being around her.

My sons and I were inconsolable, even now struggling to deal with the pain, the emptiness, and the questions we have for God of why he took her? However, after watching her suffering we knew we had to release her into Gods hands as his newest angel and are thankful the suffering is now over.

Rita, my beloved wife was a tiger to the last breath, never giving up the fight against this terrible disease unleashed on our world.

I Hope she will be an inspiration to others that are diagnosed with cancer. Fight This Evil Disease Never give up…ever.

What The Oncologist and Doctors said about her after I told them she had passed away:

Dear Richard & Family

I’m so sad but I’m also glad on the same breath, her fighting spirit was like no other that I have seen, the compliments she gave me and the staff daily while in hospital made our day, the humour with which she handled her recollection of the days when she was confused from the brain cancer attacking heron all fronts made us all laugh, even  in her times of darkness, she never wanted any pity!
I pray you and the family find eternal comfort in her passing, may the pain of losing her be overshadowed by the love she has given as a mum , wife and sister.

My advice to others that are struggling with any serious illnesses… is to keep your loved ones close to the very end. 

Your love being there for them at the very end is the biggest gift you can ever give someone!

My Wife Passed Away on 12 January 2019 at 4 AM…You are Now Gods Angel my Sweetpea! 

Rest in Peace Rita My Dear Wife!

Some Medical Cancer Terms Explained…

When you hear medical terms used by the doctor they can sound pretty scary at the time.

With some research I did I found simple explanations of what some of these terms mean.

Keep them for future reference.

1) Abnormal cells: These are cells that are not healthy and do not belong in your body.
2) Benign Tumor: this is a growth made up of normal cells and is not cancerous or malignant.
3) BRCA1: This is a normal gene for body cell growth. This gene can also become abnormal and when it does, it can cause onsets of cancer Women that have a hereditary of high levels of this gene are more susceptible to getting cancer.
4) Breast-Conserving Surgical Operation: This can be done for certain breast cancers where much of the breast is conserved as possible while removing the cancerous tumour. Some examples include lumpectomy, quadrant-ectomy, and segmental mastectomy.
5) Breast Sarcoma: This is a very rare type of breast cancer, less than 1% and growths appear in milk ducts and lobules of the breasts. The tumours can also be primary and secondary in nature.
6) Calcification: when too many salts accumulate in the body this is called calcification. The deposits can cause soft tissue to harden. Too many salts and calcium in the blood can also lead to kidney stone problems.
7) Cyst: this is a closed or capsule-like structure filled with liquid or a semi-solid mass. Sometimes it can consist of gaseous build up found anywhere in the body.
8) Doxorubicin: Chemotherapy drug in the generic form of Adriamycin. This drug is also known as ‘The Red Devil’ killer of cancer cells stopping growth and preventing them from repairing the damage. This is a common drug used in chemotherapy.
9) Fibrocystic Breast Tissue: a buildup of breast tissue or glands causing cysts as well. This is not a cancerous growth but can swell causing pain in the breast. Good to get a checkup done because cancer can develop in future from this condition.
10) Gland: This has many different meanings in medical terms according to where it is situated in the body. The body has sweat glands, mucous glands, growth glands and milk glands. Sometimes doctors will use the word lymph instead of gland too.
11) Human Papillomavirus (HPV): This is a virus causing diseases which can cause many illnesses including cervical cancer and testes cancer.
12) Oncology and Radiation: Treatments used to cure and reduce or remove cancer in the body. These may come in the form of pills, drinks or fluids while radiation is photons, electrons, proton beams used to target specific areas where cancer is present.
13) Risk Lesion: This is referred to as any body tissue or organ that has suffered from a serious injury such as a wound, tumour, or abscess. Risk lesions carry the increased risk of cancer due to the trauma the body has suffered from the injury.
14) Specimen: this is a sample of blood, or tissue sent to the laboratory for examination.
15 Susceptibility Genes: genes that you have which make likely or unlikely you will be susceptible to certain diseases or disorders.

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